I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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