Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
