At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
