Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so let's talk penis.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
