I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
