So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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