But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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