I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
