You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
