I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
