we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
birth control should be required to get into college
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
