so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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