ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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