it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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