I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize