No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
