he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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