we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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