Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
