I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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