My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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