I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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