So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
