he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
