I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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