all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
