jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
