We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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