woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
wow bdsm is so cute
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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