There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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