So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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