dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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