Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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