Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
