Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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