you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
