I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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