hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
