ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she peed on how many people?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Im part way to drunk.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
