Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
