I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
