he thought i was a dude.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
