She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
