okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize