He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
