Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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