I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Found your dick twin last night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
