need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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