Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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