I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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