dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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