the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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