WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
