Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We left an ass print on the piano.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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