its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
