Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
