Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
