I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
