It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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