I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Congratulations! We have a period
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
