I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
