I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
