Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
