This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize