It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
do herpes really smell.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
